International Men’s Day: Kyunki Mard Ko Bhi Dard Hota Hai

For too long Bollywood, popular culture and distorted versions of tradition have made us believe that men are men only if they conform to this image of being loud, macho, superhero testosterone pumping beasts or machines.

Even though Amitabh Bachchan in the 1984 movie Mard may have said “Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota ” nothing can be further than the truth.

The incessant pressure of always having it together and making it all work financially, mentally, emotionally is a matter of not just social concern but also mental, emotional and physical health.

This International Men’s Day let’s make being vulnerable normal for anyone who identifies as a living being.

Lets face it, papa doesn’t always have to be your hero sometimes he needs rescuing too. Bhaiya doesn’t always have to be your protector out on those streets he needs protecting too.

Here’s a shoutout to all the men who put up a brave front kyunki mard ko dard nahi hota and that old line of “don’t cry like a girl”. I urge more men to be like a girl,(even though that’s not the theme here)  if only in one aspect share your feelings, express your emotions like a candle blowing in the wind.

I plead to everyone reading this, let’s not demean both men and women by reducing them into compartments of who can feel what and do what. Let’s keep our men sane.

On International Men’s Day, let’s feel free enough to express ourselves exactly as we want as men and women without barriers. We all have a masculine and feminine energy inside of us and let’s celebrate it without any barriers.

Men should not feel as if they are any less of a man for not being a certain kind of man. A lot of men suffer in silence because they are breaking from the inside and unlike women they don’t in this case enjoy the freedom to express themselves for the fear of not being man enough or being a weak man.

To all the lovely men in our life, we love you just as you are. You are complete just as you are. Be beautiful, be vulnerable, be human, be you.

For a little inspiration on International Men’s Day here are some specially curated poems by the likes of Ayushmaan Khurana urging you to get in touch with your soft side because being a ‘Sakht Launda’ is not the only way to be a man.

Ayushmaan Khurana, the man who keeps challenging the Bollywood hero stereotype has recited this beautiful poetry by Gaurav Solanki aptly titled Gentleman kise kehte hai?.

It beautifully veers between the soft and the stressed, the senti and the superficial and everything in between they say a gentleman should be. Answering an all important question relevant to today’s man in our crazy ever-changing times.

The lines go like this:

You know, mard ka ek stereotype hai, Badi macho waali hype hai

Wo ghar chalaayega, Ladki ko bachaayega

Wo royega nahi, weak nahi hoga, Mujhe laga ye toh kuch theek nahi hoga.

To feel the theek and not so theek emotions of being a gentleman click on the link below:

We have all heard the dialogue”Mard ka bacha ban”. But what does that even mean? Most men and boys are quite confused about what it means to be a man. The journey of becoming a boy from a man is far from what it seems for most boys and men.

Yahya Bootwala expresses the myths, emotions, fears and thoughts with being and becoming a man through this spoken word poetry.

Taking pressure is almost becoming a thing to take pride in. Almost as if it’s cool or a measure of strength to be able to work under pressure, perform under pressure and basically live under pressure. I am not so sure I agree with this approach. Infact, men have an underlying unsaid constant pressure on themselves to be a certain way to be and do as a man should.

RJ Vasishth addresses this invisible pressure that men have put on themselves without even realising it. The pressure to not cry as it’s not when men do, the gender benders and all that men feel and everything in between.

This year the theme of International Men’s Day is ‘helping men and boys’.
Let’s help boys and men be who they are, what they are and accept them as they are.
But more importantly I urge the boys and men to accept themselves as they are and it’s okay ‘agar aapko dard hota hai’. You are not meant to be a hero, just a decent human being with a humane and healthy heart.

Happy International Men’s Day!